Anyone who has ever been responsible for the care of another person knows how physically, mentally, and financially taxing it can be.

Parents know it. People who care for their parents or another loved one know it, too.

But more people than you might realize are feeling that pull in both directions. This group, called the "Sandwich Generation," makes up roughly a quarter of the American population. And today, we're going to shine a light on the financial and retirement troubles they face—as well as what they can do about it.

What's the Sandwich Generation?

Most explorations of "generational" financial issues focus on the traditional age-based generations: Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and so on.

But the Sandwich Generation is different. 

The cohort isn't determined solely by age. Indeed, it predominantly bridges two traditional generations (Millennials and Gen X). Instead, members of this group share a situation in common: They care not just for at least one child under the age of 18, but also at least one aging parent.

Young and the Invested Tip: Generation X has its own unique hurdles to retirement. These statistics help tell the tale.

If that sounds difficult, it is, for any number of reasons. And numerous results from the 2025 Annual Retirement Study from the Study* from the Allianz Center for the Future of Retirement (part of Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America, better known as just Allianz Life) demonstrate the toll this constant state of caregiving is taking on their financial lives.

Among the most important takeaways:

• 75% of Sandwich Generation respondents say it is hard for them to juggle their financial needs and goals because they are caring for their children and parents.
• 59% say they reduced or stopped contributing to their retirement savings account due to having to financially support both their children and parents.
• 76% say providing care for everyone is almost like a full-time job.

"Caring for both your young children and your aging parents can be overwhelming for both your time and your finances," says Kelly LaVigne, VP of consumer insights, Allianz Life. "While you may feel it is your responsibility to care for everyone, it's important to keep your own best interest in mind for your long-term security. Forgoing your own retirement savings now can have costly consequences later on."

Not only is it a difficult situation, but for many respondents, it was unexpected—the majority (60%) say they weren't expecting or planning to give support to their parents at this time in their life.

What Can You Do If You're Part of the Sandwich Generation (Or Will Be)?

This week, we sat down with Allianz Life's LaVigne to discuss the Sandwich Generation's financial difficulties, the importance of recognizing when you've taken on too much, what kind of help is available to people who are caring for children and parents alike, and more.

YATI: We really don't come across much data on the Sandwich Generation. Why did Allianz Life decide to home in on this group in their retirement study?

LaVigne: To tell you the truth, the Boomer generation was the original Sandwich Generation. [The idea has] been around for some time. But the reason we're asking these questions is that it has been coming up more and more often in general responses [to the survey] as being among the top concerns. 

Young and the Invested Tip: How much do Baby Boomers have saved? Have they planned? How many think they won't retire? We answer these and other Boomer retirement questions.

We know it's not necessarily just this generation that has had these responsibilities, but this generation is being very vocal about how they're feeling the pressure.

YATI: If it has been around for so long, why did so many respondents report overlooking it?

LaVigne: What surprised me the most is that the new generation is surprised this happened. Their parents did almost exactly the same thing.

But I think it's mostly because we don't really talk about it, especially as financial professionals. 

Most of the time, we're concerned with not spending all your money on your kids' education at the expense of your retirement, and planning for the possibility (and more and more, the probability) that you're going to need some form of long-term care. We talk about how you can't spend everything on the children and not have everything saved for yourself. 

But we don't necessarily bring up, say, what if your parents didn't do as well as you and they're experiencing financial difficulty? What are your plans for them? Are you being careful about spending too much on them?

So people in their late 40s, early 50s, they start to see this pressure building up. For a second they're saying, "Oh, my kids are out of college, everything's going to be better, we'll actually be able to save more [for retirement]." Then suddenly we recognize that our parents aren't ready and they need more help.

YATI: What are some of the commonsense ways someone can plan for eventually being part of a sandwich generation if they're not already in that stage of life?

LaVigne: A number of things, but let's start off with the hardest ones. 

• Try not to run up too much debt. There'll always be an emergency that comes up, but staying away from high-interest credit debts is probably one of the best ways to stay afloat. 
• Have a budget; actually go over it and do it seriously. 
• Make sure when you're at an employer that has a significant match to their retirement plan, you maximize it as much as you can. 
• Take money out of your paycheck before you see it; that's the easiest way to live because you never get used to that money. 
• Make sure you have an emergency fund.

I know this sounds like the standard stuff, but it's really hard to do. It takes a lot of discipline. 

But once you do it, you can enjoy the things you do more. Knowing that you've got an emergency fund, and that you're saving for the future, and that you've got enough left over to still have fun is not a bad way to spend your life.

YATI: I think conceptually, if you told most people that caring for two generations would wear them thin, they'd agree with you. But once you're in the situation, it might be harder to notice that the pot is boiling, so to speak. Are there any telltale signs of wear and tear people should look for?

LaVigne: One of the critical moments is when you're right in the middle of it and asking yourself, "I can't do this all by myself, can I?" No. No you can't. It is too much to take care of children and aging parents on your own. And it's not just the financial part—it's the mental and physical parts as well.

The emotional attachment is difficult. With your children, you might be able to say, "OK, I'll let you live at home a little while longer, but then you'll simply have to deal with a little bit less." But when it's your parents and they're having financial difficulty, or they need you more [from a physical perspective], that's something you can't postpone because you have a limited amount of time with them.

Young and the Invested Tip: Wondering whether you're ready to leave the workforce? These questions can help you get to the bottom of it.

But when you're in the middle of it, you're just drowning and you're exhausted. Things will start to fail and you might start to fail. With elderly couples, often it's a caregiver of, say, someone who's suffering from dementia and other issues, that often gets sick and dies before the person they were caring for does. That's because the stress is so great.

Even if you're married, and there are two of you splitting duties, it can put a real strain on your relationship too. So don't be afraid to ask for help because you really do need it. You shouldn't be expected to do all of this on your own.

YATI: What happens once you acknowledge you can't do it all?

LaVigne: You need to make limits around what you can and cannot do. 

If you have no siblings, no neighbors that can help, you're in a tough spot. And that's when you need to look for any type of public help you might be able to get. 

From my experience, the hardest part about doing all of this, especially with elderly parents, is that older people are often averse to getting any kind of extra help. They might accept it from their children, but taking it from strangers—having to go to, say, an adult daycare or something like that—they don't believe in that. Their pride gets in the way. They say, "I could never do that." 

So to get over those hurdles, you need a professional to help you with that. There's a lot of free professional help out there; organizations that can help you with parents that might need some extra care.

YATI: Mind giving us a real-talk example of a limit you might need to set with caring for your parents when your care is critical to them?

LaVigne: That's an easy one. Holy cow. Thanks a lot. (laughs)

OK, so let's say you determine you're really stuck: "I just can't make it to Mom's house five days a week. I just can't do it. I wake up. I get the kids off to school. I go to work. I get home. I cook dinner. I go to my parent's house. I get back at say 10 or 11 p.m. Then I have to do stuff around the house, pick stuff up, and get everything ready for the next day." 

You have to force yourself to give up maybe one of those nights. Tell your mom, "Listen, I'm going to take care of you, here are a couple days' worth of dinner, I'll check on you by phone, but I can only come over four or three days a week." 

Then start getting in touch with and looking up organizations that might be able to help you. 

There's a lot of free professional help out there; organizations that can help you with parents that might need some extra care. Most organizations are local, so I can't make recommendations because your readers might not be in my area. But there are places you can look up that can help. 

In the short run, it's going to hurt because you'll be giving up maybe another couple hours of sleep searching for these resources, researching them, contacting them, and getting things started up. It's worth it in the long run; it will help you from a total health standpoint.

YATI: And what about from a financial standpoint? Where can you get help with the financial difficulties of providing care for multiple generations?

LaVigne: You need professional financial advice to get to your goals. And don't think "We don't have enough money for a financial advisor." There are many financial advisors just starting out, or who have a practice with junior partners, that will take on clients without significant assets and help them get enough saved for their retirement.

Young and the Invested Tip: How much do you need to get quality financial advice? A lot less than you think.

You have to be honest with them about what your concerns and top priorities are. "I know that I need to save for retirement. I know I have certain expenses. Where can I afford to invest? Or what can I afford to do that will make me have a little bit more leeway in case I am suddenly in the position where I need to financially help my parents? 

YATI: And what can a financial advisor do in this kind of situation, or in preparing for this kind of situation?

LaVigne: A financial advisor can help you put a budget together that's manageable. They might discover you can afford to take a little more risk in certain areas, or help make sure you're more protected from market volatility by having you in protective products or savings so you don't have to worry about what happens if the market goes down.

Financial advisors also have a lot of different resources they can tap into. Sometimes they have teams of people that you don't even necessarily see. They might be able to find the programs and companies that can help you with your parents' situation.

Everybody thinks all financial advisors do is invest money and buy stocks. That's far from what the majority of professional financial advisors do now. And remember: They help as a full-time job, so they're going to be a lot more efficient than you will be trying to do it all yourself.

—

The kids are back to school, the leaves are starting to turn, and professional football is back on the television. We know fall doesn’t officially start for a couple more weeks, but … you can start enjoying the season anyways. See you next week!

Riley & Kyle

Young and the Invested

Like what you're reading but not yet a subscriber? Get our weekly financial insights and updates delivered to your inbox every Saturday morning by signing up for The Weekend Tea today! You can also follow us on Flipboard for more great advice and insights.